Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Tales From The Spam Crypt

1) Do Your Grants Need Funding In? (no, I prefer the unfunded grants. Bouncing checks are so entertaining!)
2) Get latest real tones--PARTICIPATION REQUIRED! (I'm not participating. Will they come arrest me? And how do you know the tones are real? I want to see the fake tones.)
3) Of or deliquescent trading Opportunity 4U (... huh? Can I trade this email for one that makes sense?)
4) look and the workers together (and save that will do--ye also (Again with the wtf?)
5) Sex can be one of the most enjoyable parts of your live CIALIS (I'm not a man, and therefore am unlikely to take any kind of Cialis, but if I did, I wouldn't take live Cialis. I prefer my medications to be dead.)
6) Its never to late to continue your education (Yes, written just like that. Perhaps they should continue their education with remedial Its, It's classes and To, Too, Two lessons?)
7) We can have you covered! (With what? Jello? Sunscreen? Guys named Guido who want to break my kneecaps? No thank you...)
8) It as rising to be equal... or unequal (I love these ones. They're so randomly delicious. What is the point of these spams, I'd like to know?)
9) Exclusive Chinese Relationship Analysis! (Um. I'm not Chinese, nor dating anyone who's Chinese. Is this like a sneak preview of the fortune cookie I'll get on our next dinner date?)
10) Enjoy the company of others with $100k Platinum Visa! (This may be the first credit card spam I've seen to specifically target the frequent-prostitute-visit set.)


Anonymous said...

Oh, I get these all the time.

Get a bigger penIs.

She will love you more than anyone else.

Want a f**kbuddy in your area?

Aren't those special?

Hippo said...

What I wonder is who is sitting there at their computer thinking, "Oh, I know! I will write some spam emails offering pen*s enlargment!"
I mean, really, what sort of person comes up with all these e-mails... or do I really want to know?

Bailey Stewart said...

You talk to spam too! I love the credit card one.

Denise Patrick said...

Isn't it incredible what ends up in your Spam folder? Although, I also get laughs out of what DOESN'T get classified as spam and, therefore, ends up in my inbox. I wanna know who makes up the rules for my email - they sure aren't paying attention to my filters!

Slick said...

Ha....funny post.

At least you're addressing your spam :)