Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix International Trailer
I WANT TO SEE IT NOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Call for help!
Can anyone tell me who does the background music on this awesome fan-made YouTube of Acheron from Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunter series? I'd love artist, track name, and if you've got an album name too, that's bonus. There's a free ebook in it for you if you can help me out!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Merry Christmas!
Or at least that's what it said on the front page of my official website.
Hmm. Maybe I should update that, I thought last night. If I leave it up any longer, people will start asking me if I'm pre-advertising some kind of Christmas In July sale or something.
So off I go to update the website. Gee, looks like I never really got around to finishing it. Well, my excuse is that HTML and I had a messy breakup and we don't really talk much. It just didn't understand me... or something like that... anyway, I decided that not only would I update, get rid of the Christmas stuff, and add the latest 2 books on there, I would finish actually creating the site. Add all those links I promised I'd add. Put up the pictures I wanted up there.
And I did. Took me three hours, but goodness, it was pretty when it was done. I happily clicked SAVE and... and...
The damned website server was offline for upgrades! Every single thing I just did was GONE!
Anyway... I redid it. Christmas is finally over. Have a look-see, if you want. But this is exactly why I hate updating my website--it's always something. Grrr.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Thursday Thirteen Lines from my brand new release, CHOSEN
 |
| To celebrate my latest release from Samhain Publishing--CHOSEN, Book Three of the Guardians' League--I thought I'd do a different sort of excerpt. Here are thirteen of my favorite lines from the book. I hope you enjoy them! 1. “I know the whole Ambassador gig involves improving vampire-human relations, but damn, I didn't realize it meant that kind of relations." Sin, Cobra Clan Patriarch to Gareth after Alexa did a very hot body-shot with Gareth in a bar as a dare 2. “What the hell were you thinking?” Kim demanded, gaping at her. “The man is a walking god and he was looking at you like he’d like to cover you in chocolate and lick you clean." Alexa getting razzed after she refuses to dance with Gareth. 3. “Choose soon,” the man said in a voice like icy death. “Choose or die.” Alexa's nightmare 4. . “Help me out here,” he whispered to her. “My ego can’t take another no. You’re going to ruin my reputation if you’re not careful.” Gareth, asking Alexa out in front of her friends. 5. “Wow,” she said, staring at his gorgeous butt as he turned for her. Those tight leather pants were in serious contention for her favorite invention ever. Alexa... well, really, Gareth in tight leather is enough to rob any girl of speech. 6. “I promise I won’t bite tonight. Not even a nibble.” Gareth, reassuring Alexa. 7. “Let’s just say that I’ll start believing in vampires when I meet one,” she said as Jackson Square came into view. A skeptical Alexa at the start of Gareth's vampire tour. 8. "Only consensual biting between legal adults is allowed on this tour." Tour-guide Gareth laying down the rules. 9. “What are you going to do in front of your precious mortals, Gareth? You’re not going to get medieval on us in front of your girlfriend, are you? Whatever would she think?” Outcasts taunting Gareth 10. She had finally managed to find a great guy—handsome, charming, gainfully employed—and he was some psycho vampire-groupie. She felt like crying. It just wasn’t fair. Alexa reflecting that dating basically sucks when Gareth tells her the truth about vampires. 11. “Life needs a replay button.” Gareth reflecting that dating basically sucks when Alexa gets up and leaves. 12. “Let me try this again. Did you figure out why that guy broke my window or did you just stand there getting your butt kicked?” Nurse Alexa's bedside manner suffers a bit as she treats Gareth. 13. “Compensating for something?” His deep chuckle sent a shudder through her. “Wanna find out?” Alexa's reaction to Gareth's car, which she thinks of as a "penis on wheels."
|
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
It's finally here!
CHOSEN, Book 3 of the Guardians' League, is out now!
I love this book, even though it gave me fits. FITS, I tell you. Parts of it were written out of order. Other bits lived in my brain until time to write them down, then fluttered away like spooked moths. The ending changed from what I'd planned, which required a rewrite of the beginning. And so forth. Writers can complain about writing forever, and I'm a pro at it--complaining, I mean--but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say that birthing this particular baby was not easy, and I really wanted there to be a father to curse and threaten during the process.
But all that aside--I love this book.
I love Gareth. He's so complex, yet inside, he's a simple guy. He personifies integrity. He's a protector without being overbearing. He's funny without crossing over to silly. He's romantic without being cheesy. And he's sexy as hell, baby. I want this guy to jump out of my mind and come sweep me off my feet, like, yesterday.
And I adore Alexa. She's strong enough to admit when she needs help. She knows her own value and stands up for herself. She's a healer who cares deeply about her chosen calling. She's loyal to a fault, and would do anything and everything for a friend.
Yet neither of them are perfect. Perfect people are so very boring.
I really hope that you like this book. Despite the endless hard labor without any of the good pain drugs at all, it was actually fun to write. For the most part. When I wasn't cussing it.
And thank God that books don't wake you up for midnight feedings.
Monday, April 16, 2007
My thoughs are with those at Virginia Tech
I just don't know what to say. I've never understood why people who are so unhappy with their lives that they decide to kill themselves will also decide to take innocents with them. The 21 (at last report) slain students and almost three dozen injured did nothing to provoke this, and it is truly a tragedy of immense proportions. My thoughts are with the students and their families.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Thursday Thirteen Things I Don't Miss About TV
 |
|
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
CHOSEN, Guardians' League Book 3, releases a week from today!
Anyway--ahem, try to act like you're a professional, Amelia--just to celebrate that great news and to give you a taste of the next installment in this series, I thought I'd tease you with an excerpt from Chosen. I hope you like it!
Gareth’s To Do List:
Defend New Orleans.
Fight a vampire war.
Keep humans ignorant of above.
Win the girl.
Not To Do:
Die.
Book Three of the Guardians’ League
Gareth Ambrocio is the charismatic and dedicated patriarch of New Orleans’ Arachnid Clan, as well as a senior member of the League’s Governing Council and the official Ambassador of the Clans. Fancy titles for a man who enjoys giving vampire tours around New Orleans to spread false information to tourists.
Despite being one of the oldest living vampires, Gareth has yet to find a mate or name an heir. Meeting the lovely dhampyr Alexa provides him the perfect opportunity to finally take a bondmate and create that heir. The problems start as soon as he begins his efforts to court her. All hell breaks loose in his city. Women go missing and wind up dead, Outcast attacks become bolder, and an upstart vampire challenges Gareth for his position… and for Alexa.
Keeping her safe would be a lot easier if Alexa would admit that vampires truly existed, but Gareth has always relished a good challenge. When the attacks and threats draw ever closer to her, Gareth must find out who or what is behind these strange events before he loses his Chosen mate, his Clan, his city and his life…
Warning, this title contains the following: adult situations, graphic language, violence.
An excerpt from
Chosen
Book Three of the Guardians' League
Copyright © 2007 Amelia Elias
All rights reserved — a Samhain Publishing, Ltd. publication
Alexa turned to look with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her jaw dropped when she caught a glimpse of the man chatting with Grace’s bartender friend. Tall, blond, and dressed in leather from head to toe, he was the epitome of everything Alexa had been avoiding for the last two years. He laughed and half-turned, denying her the sight of his impossibly tight butt lovingly cupped in black leather only to gift her with a glimpse of a face that would make Michelangelo’s David green with envy.
He reached for his glass and his jacket parted, revealing nothing beneath but golden skin and enough rippling muscle to wipe every coherent thought from her head. On anyone else, such an outfit might’ve made her question his orientation, but not on this guy. He radiated danger and masculinity, and sweet, hot seduction.
Adonis in black leather. He looked like the kind of bad news every girl secretly dreamed of finding.
Every girl but her, that was. Adonis laughed and Alexa groaned. She couldn’t believe Grace was actually making her do this, but further protests would only delay the inevitable. Taking a deep breath for courage, she turned her back on her friends and started across the crowded bar as though walking to her doom, pretending she didn’t hear their ribald shouts of “encouragement”.
She stopped behind Adonis and took another breath to steady her nerves. She instantly wished she hadn’t as his subtle aftershave swept over her—not too much, not too strong, and sexy as hell. Why it surprised her, she couldn’t say. Every inch of this guy was pure sex, and at well over six feet tall, that was a lot of sexy inches.
Don’t go there, Alexa. Stop that thought right there.
Before she could chicken out—a thought that was all too tempting—she reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” she said through a throat that felt much too tight. “Can I ask a favor?”
Adonis turned and her heart leapt into her throat. Up close he was even more devastating than he’d been from across the bar. Eyes the color of warm gunmetal met hers as he smiled at her.
“Hello,” he said, his deep voice caressing nerves she’d spent the last two years convincing herself she didn’t even have. He caught her hand and lifted it to his lips, his mouth skimming her knuckles in a gesture as gallant as it was unexpected. Her heart kicked against her ribs. “For you, anything,” he added, not releasing her hand.
For a moment Alexa couldn’t even speak. For Adonis to have the voice of a sex god and the manners of a knight was just too, too unfair. The urge to flee almost overtook her and she blurted the words before she could give in and run. “It’s a dare. I mean Truth or Dare. I mean… Oh, hell, I have to do a body shot with you.”
One golden eyebrow raised and for a second that was all. Then Adonis smiled. Not grinned, smiled. Kindly. “Nervous?” he asked as his thumb traced a feather-soft caress over her inner wrist.
That caress tingled all the way up her arm and down her spine before settling low in her belly as a curl of liquid heat. If she hadn’t tied her hair back she was sure it would be standing on end.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said, her cheeks so hot it felt like she could fry an egg on them. She didn’t want to imagine the torture that would follow if he told her no. It was too horrible to contemplate.
He leaned close and murmured in her ear, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart, but I want nothing you don’t wish to give. Do you want to do this, or do you want me to help you get out of it?”
Alexa closed her eyes for just a moment, unable to stop herself from savoring the sensation of his breath on the sensitive skin of her ear and the warmth of his hard body inches from hers. This man was not the arrogant jerk she’d first assumed. He was quickly moving into too-good-to-be-true territory with that offer to rescue her from her pushy friends. There was nothing he could’ve done that would have surprised her more, and her reaction to it was downright shocking.
“Let’s do it.”
He chuckled in her ear and she shivered from head to toe. “Words no man can ever resist,” he teased before pulling back. He released her hands and spread his arms. “I’m all yours, sweetheart. Do with me what you will.”
She laughed. “Has that line actually worked for you?”
He smiled, but his eyes were serious. “More importantly, is it working now?”
Alexa chose to ignore that—she could handle a little light teasing, but serious flirting with Adonis was out of the question. She turned to the bartender to order a tequila shot and found one already waiting for her, a shaker of salt and a lime on a napkin beside it. The bartender, Luc, was leaning against the bar, his eyes twinkling. “Give him hell, girl.”
“More like heaven, if you ask me,” the guy on the next barstool commented.
Luc laughed and opened his mouth to say something else but Adonis cut him off. “Leave the lady alone,” he commanded. There was no other word for it. His voice shimmered with authority though his eyes never left Alexa. “Where do you want me?”
Now that was a loaded question if she’d ever heard one. She cleared her throat and summoned a smile of her own as she lifted the shot, salt, and lime. If she really had to do this, she’d make it something even a man like him would remember.
“On the bar,” she said. That golden eyebrow rose again and her grin widened. “On your back.”
Luc laughed and the other guy gave a low whistle as the people around them lifted their drinks, but Adonis said nothing. He braced his hands on the bar and lifted himself up with one smooth ripple of muscle before turning and lying back in the vacated space, knees bent. One big boot rested on the bar and the other on his barstool. Alexa could all but feel her friends’ disbelief radiating across the crowded bar but refused to turn around and glance at them. The slide of his jacket across that golden skin as he laced his fingers behind his head, silently giving her free run of his body, had her full attention.
And what a body it was. She gave herself a moment to stare, wishing she could take an hour to give this man the attention he was due. His jacket fell completely open, exposing a palm-sized tattoo of a spider on his left side. She touched it with a fingertip, wincing at the thought of needles in such a sensitive area. “That must’ve hurt.”
He winked at her. “Other things have hurt more.”
It was a perfect opening and she absolutely wasn’t going there. Her fingertip left his side and traced a circle around his navel. “If I put the glass here, will it spill?”
A quiver ran through his muscles and a wave of purely feminine satisfaction made her bite her lip. He watched the movement like a hawk.
“’Fraid so,” Adonis said, still gazing at her mouth. “I’m only human.”
Luc laughed again and Adonis shot him a glare. Alexa ignored it.
“I guess I’ll have to get creative, then.” She set the shot aside and lifted the lime and salt. “Ready?”
His eyes smoldered when he answered. “I’ve been ready all my life, sweetheart.”
She lifted the lime to his lips. He opened his mouth willingly, his gaze never leaving her face as she positioned the lime between his teeth. His warm breath tickled her fingers and she could almost believe it had quickened in anticipation. When she had the lime just how she wanted it, she lifted the salt and glanced down his body, her own breath coming a little faster at the thought of where to sprinkle it.
Her attention kept returning to the strong column of his throat. She could see his pulse throbbing temptingly just above the collarbone. As she stared, the throbbing sped up. Before she could talk herself out of it, Alexa bent and ran her tongue over the spot.
His low hiss of pleasure thrilled her. She licked his skin again, closing her eyes to better savor the warmth of his skin beneath her lips, the slight saltiness on her tongue. She couldn’t resist one final swirl before she pulled away and sprinkled salt over the spot, not quite daring to look up into his eyes and see if he was as affected as she was.
Ignoring the shot glass by his hip, Alexa dropped the salt shaker onto the bar and returned to his throat. This time he groaned aloud as she painstakingly licked every bit of the salt away, taking her time and making a very thorough job of it. Obeying an instinct she didn’t even know she had, she nipped at his skin right over his pulse and was rewarded with what sounded like a low oath muffled by the lime as he shivered. She couldn’t resist doing it again. She knew she should stop this before she marked him, but his obvious pleasure at what she was doing made it hard for her to think rationally.
Only then did she lift the shot glass and meet his eyes. The desire in his gaze was enough to send molten heat through her veins. She winked at him before bending to his navel and filling it with tequila. He groaned again in anticipation and Alexa quickly bent and sucked the liquor from his body. A tiny rivulet escaped and she chased it down with her tongue as it rolled down his side. His body arched like a bow when she flicked her tongue into his navel to make sure she’d gotten every last drop.
Finally she made herself pull away and quickly bit the lime, keeping her eyes closed so she didn’t have to look at his expression. His breath definitely came faster, just like hers. He angled his head to give her greater access as she sucked the tart juice from the fruit. His lips were firm and warm against hers and Alexa pulled back from that temptation almost at once. She was already far too close to getting seriously carried away here.
When she pulled away she realized half the bar was cheering and knew she should be mortified, but when Adonis swung his legs off the bar and caught her in his arms, everything else faded to the background. She saw his intention in his burning eyes a moment before his mouth descended and got her fingers between them just in time. “Not on a first date, Adonis,” she murmured, his lips kept from hers by nothing more than the width of her finger.
CHOSEN debuts at Samhain Publishing on April 17, 2007!
Monday, April 9, 2007
This kind of thing could only happen to me...
Living three miles from the Texas/Mexico border means that Border Patrol checkpoints are a part of life. The officers who work at my local one, a mile from my house, all know me and my car, so I pretty much breeze through--drug dog sniffs while I shoot the breeze with the officers, then I'm on my way.
Well, today I had to drive toward San Antonio, through a station where they don't know me. That's fine, no problem. They have a new officer there who's searching all the cars in front of me, so I'm ready for that. I pull forward when it's my turn, roll down the window, greet the officer as the drug dog (a very pretty German Shepherd mix) starts the sniff patrol.
Officer--"Is this your car?"
Me--"Yes, it is."
Officer--(looking around the interior, seeing all the kids' toys and assorted trash in the backseat... I'm not one of those immaculate car people) "Are you a citizen of the US, ma'am?"
Me--(remembering when I used to be a miss, not a ma'am) "Yes, sir."
Officer--"Mind if I have a look in your trunk?"
Me--(popping the trunk release) "Not at all."
Sounds of rummaging ensue back there. I recently moved, and since I have a little car, the transfer of stuff from the old place to the new has been piecemeal. There's still a bunch of stuff from my last trip back there. *rummage rummage* Let's see, there's that box of Avon stuff... *rummage rummage, sounds like he's about to come through the back seat* There's the nice designer gym bag I won in a raffle--who knew they even made designer gym bags? *rummage thunk rattle rummage* And there's... oh, shit...
There's the gay porn DVDs I borrowed to research positions for my m/m erotic romance, Out For Christmas. (I knew there had to be more to it than doggy style, but I don't do porn on the internet--I'm paranoid about viruses!) The locked trunk is the best place I could think of to hide those things where my 8 and 10 year old boys couldn't find 'em. But you know, they weren't really all that hidden in there... more like tossed on top of the rest of the crap. That officer has been searching around in there like he's looking for microscopic little illegal immigrants hiding in the carpet pile. There is no way he didn't see them. And darn it, he's really cute, too.
*thump* Trunk finally closes, but it's a little late now. Oy... no choice but to try to brazen it out, even though the very first question established that this is, in fact, my car. And therefore, that was, in fact, my gay porn in the trunk. (Is that better or worse than in the closet?) The explanation of borrowing it for research so I could write a gay erotic romance novel could only have made things worse, don't you think? So I attempt to pretend that nothing's amiss...
Officer--(returns to window, grinning) "You're clear. Have a nice day."
Me--(attempting to smile back, positive face is beet-red) "Thanks, officer." *resist urge to floor it, burn rubber as I speed away to find a place to hide*
You know, this sort of thing doesn't seem to happen to my author friends who write sweet and inspirational romances. Just saying.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Cheesy Easter Jokes
... most of which were told to me by my sons today, although a few came from an adult woman who should really be past this sort of thing by now. (Yes, Jennie, I am looking at you.) Ahh, the humor of prepubescent boys, you just can't beat it.
- What did the man say when he saw 10 bunnies hopping over the hill?
- What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
- Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
- What do you call ten rabbits hopping backward?
- What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work?
- What's pink, has five toes, and is carried by the Easter Bunny?
- Why must you never tell a joke to an Easter egg?
I don't know about you, but that's about my limit for bad humor. Of course, it didn't stop for me just because I hit my limit... but I won't torture you. Consider it my Easter present to you.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
More Pet Food Recalls
This time, it's dog chews with salmonella contamination. Three different batches and sizes of American Bullie A.B. Bull Pizzle Puppy Chews and Dog Chews were tested by the FDA and a mandatory recall due to salmonella contamination was issued. The affected treats:
- A.B. Small Chew, 3-4 inch
- A.B. Dog Chew Medium, 6 inch
- A.B. Dog Chew Large, 10 inch
- A.B. Dog Chew XL, 13 inch
- A.B. Dog Chew Mega, 16 inch
- A.B. Dog Chew Jumbo, 26 inch
Pets with Salmonella infections may be lethargic and have diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, fever, and vomiting. Some pets will have only decreased appetite, fever and abdominal pain. Well animals can be carriers and infect other animals or humans. If your pet has consumed the recalled product and has these symptoms, please contact your veterinarian.
(And as an aside, why are you feeding your dog "treats" made from bull penises anyway? Not to be a prude, and I know dogs lick themselves anyway, but still. GROSS.)
Also, the recall of pet food contaminated with deadly chemicals has been expanded again. There have been a couple of pet deaths associated with DRY DOG FOOD, and unfortunately one of those poor dogs belonged to a friend of mine. So just keep in mind that just because your dog eats the dry stuff doesn't necessarily mean it's been cleared. Please continue to watch this story!
Also, today a prescription-only cat food has been shown to be contaminated with melamine and was issued a mandatory recall. More info from the FDA's website--
"Prescription Diet m/d Feline Dry Food
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today notified Hill's Pet Nutrition, Inc., of Topeka, Kansas, that FDA testing has detected melamine and melamine byproducts in wheat gluten received by the company to make dry cat food. FDA is conducting an investigation into pet food products made with wheat gluten that contains melamine and their association with reports of injury and deaths in cats and dogs.
Because the cat food is sold exclusively through veterinarians, Hill's has notified veterinarians, and is voluntarily recalling the pet food containing the wheat gluten and will conduct its own testing.
Consumers who have any bags of Prescription Diet m/d Feline should discontinue use. They should speak with their veterinarian if their pet shows any signs of kidney/renal illness. Such signs include loss of appetite, lethargy and vomiting.
During two months in early 2007, Hill's Pet Nutrition manufactured Prescription Diet m/d Feline using wheat gluten from the same company that has supplied wheat gluten to Menu Foods, Inc. Menu Foods, Inc. (menufoods.com/recall) has also voluntarily recalled products potentially contaminated with melamine. See http://www.fda.gov/oc/opacom/hottopics/petfood.html for more information on the pet food recall.
The Hill’s cat food now being recalled is labeled Prescription Diet m/d Feline dry food. The products are:
- 4 lb. bag, U.S. & Canada UPC code 52742 42770
- 10 lb. bag, U.S. & Canada UPC code 52742 42790"
2 pounds cooked ground beef, not drained (the original recipe says to use lamb but a) it's expensive and b) it's hard to find around here!)
1 cup cooked brown rice (NOT WHITE--white rice is horrible for your dog! please don't substitute white rice!)
1 cup mixed frozen vegetables (the blend I get is the potatoes, peas, corn, and carrots blend--the cheapo stuff that's cubed, basically frozen Veg-All. It's perfect)
1 TBSP chopped garlic (I get this in the jar, pre-chopped--hey, I'm lazy and I have no problem admitting it. I use this chopped garlic in everything!)
Cook it all, then get a great big bowl, dump it all in, and mix it up. Easy peasy, and Simi snarfs it down like there's no tomorrow.
This recipe makes enough for my German Shepherd for 2 days, and it's really not expensive. Of course, I make it in big batches and refrigerate it--it's easily doubled. I also squeeze in a Fish Oil capsule just before I give her the daily serving because I've got some lying around here, crush up a glucosamine condroitin tablet in it since German Shepherds are so prone to joint problems, and add a fresh raw egg every other day because I have my own chickens and I know my eggs are safe, but that's just my added stuff and not in the original recipe.
Now, for the picky cat who doesn't seem to realize he's getting a treat *eyeroll*:
1 cup cooked chicken (I use thighs)
1/2 cup cooked brown rice (again, white rice is evil for pets! it's nothing but sugar and so hard on their kidneys, please don't go there!)
1/2 cup chopped broccoli, cooked until tender
1/4 cup chopped carrot, cooked until tender (I get all the veg frozen and nuke it in the microwave, it's so much easier and you don't waste anything, you just take what you need out of the bag and leave the rest frozen)
Chicken broth (if you need it, please get the sodium-free kind that is NOT fat-free)
Toss it all in the blender and mush it up, adding enough chicken broth to hold it together. I find that if I don't drain the veg after I cook it (just toss it in the microwave with a couple tablespoons of water in the bowl with it), I don't need to add much if any broth. Besides, draining the veg means all the vitamins in that water are lost! I also squeeze a couple of fish oil capsules in this as I blend it up, and it seems to make Pharaoh a little more inclined to eat it. (If I put the fish oil on top, he just licks it off, the rotten picky mumble grumble...) But not much more inclined, alas. My cat is a picky little pain in the... er... adorable loveable darling, so he's not wild about this. But I don't want him to keel over on me, so he'll just have to learn to deal.
Thursday Thirteen Mandarin Curses From Firefly
 |
Mal, upon learning there's a mole on board Serenity in the first episode. Translation--"Everyone under the heavens ought to die." (I think he was upset.) 2. "Ta ma de! Nimen de bizui!" Mal again, as people argue about killing the mole--"Everyone shut the hell up!" (Ta ma de is a very common interjection in Firefly, and seems to be a fairly interchangable curse--damn it, oh shit, the hell, etc.) 3. "Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan..." Again Mal (guess who my favorite character on the show is?) in The Train Job, just before the barroom brawl gets started... means, "Oh, this is a happy development..." 4. "Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo!" Shepherd Book--yes, our lovely preacher is cursing! In War Stories, he's speaking about Niska, the twisted freak who's captured Mal and Wash, and his cadre of torturers, calling them, "Fornicators of livestock!" 5. "Shun-SHENG duh gao-WAHN." In Trash, this is Mal's reaction to seeing the rich estate Saffron takes them to rob. "Holy testicle Tuesday!" *snicker* 6. "Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze." River in Safe, ranting at Mal as she throws Simon's medical supplies all over the place during one of her psycho episodes. Translation, "Son of a drooling whore and a monkey." Now, River, Mal's much cuter than that... 7. "Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze!" In Our Mrs. Reynolds, Mal says this to Jayne after Jayne offers to trade his favorite gun for Mal's new wife. It means, "The explosive diarrhea of an elephant!" So that's a no, then? 8. "Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung." Same episode, but Wash this time after Saffron tries to seduce him. I love this one, it's so quintesentially Wash! "Holy mother of God and all her wacky nephews." LMAO! 9. "mei-mei" In almost every episode, and usually used in reference to Kaylee or River. It means "little sisiter" and is a term of endearment. 10. "Gao yang jong duh goo yang." In Jaynestown, Wash says this after seeing that Serenity is landlocked and cannot take off. It means, "Motherless goat of all motherless goats!" 11. "Jeo-shung yong-jur goo-jang. Jien-cha yong-chi gong yin." This is one you don't want to hear when you're out in the black. This is the automated voice of Serenity saying, "Life support failure. Check oxygen levels at once." (from Out Of Gas) 12. "Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng" In Ariel, as Mal is trying (without much success) to learn the medical lines that Simon is teaching them so they can seem like they belong in the hospital. It means, "Frog-humping son of a bitch," and it was the first phrase I learned phonetically from Firefly! 13. "Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo." Another terrific Wash phrase, this line in War Stories means, "All the planets in space are stuffed up my butt." Does he not have the funniest lines? I can't believe he died in Serenity! *weeping*
|
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Monday, April 2, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
